I’ve always found deadlines and boundaries difficult to manage. I work best on my own time, in my own secluded corners, within the system I set for myself. When someone comes along and places boundaries upon me, whether they are in the form of due dates or rules or social systems, I have a tendency to crumble.
I know I’m not alone in my deterioration. It’s difficult to be a human being when the walls are pressing you into a tiny enclosed space and you can barely breathe.
Mayhaps what I’m really talking about here is community expectations. That is, if you can call the Orthodox spectrum a community at all.
Let’s face it: the unspoken deadlines for marriage are downright traumatizing for most young people. You can’t place a deadline on meeting the right person. Then again, the right wing isn’t so into the concept of falling in love. They seem to desire conformity over everything else. I shudder at this thought.
Certain segments of the New York Jewish community take great pride in placing restriction upon restriction on its people. For some, rigidity works for them. They have a set schedule and don’t need to use their brains to decide what they’re going to do with their days. Furthermore, it allows them a certain speshul corner of civilization from which they point and proclaim themselves holier than thou.
I’m struggling with the notion of absolute truth. How can anyone be so narcissistic that they decree their Ultimate Correctness over everything? One might consider this the ultimate boundary. And quite frankly, that makes me rather uncomfortable.